Just a Teeny weeny remainder...

If sOmthing That's meant to Be Yours.. It'll staY yours. You can'T Avoid It.. and You DOnt Have to die die Wait for it.
Let Nature Takes Its CoursE..

Dont lost hope just as the sky turns cloudy.. dont turn away just because thinGs areNt GoinG your Way..

Live Each day as It is.. and Try to Accept everythinG that COmes as Another Blessing; Disguised or not.. It's just the way you look at It.

Remember that Good Things Dont come FRee and Easy..

Strive and Strongly Believe iN WhaTever That You'Re Acheiveing.. U'll Then sEE WHat You're CaPaBle of DOing

HiccuPs, HappineSS, HatRed, HOmeSick, HelplessNesS, HOPes, HumPs and All the 'Haha's and The 'Huhu's are in The package..

so Be Prepared..

These are the few things That I wiLL keeP In MY Head!..


I know That I will Always Have Allah with me..

I know I have my Family behind me; invisible they are right now.. But I know they are there.

I know I have my Friends.. for they are my helping hands when I'm falling apart, they are my rainbow when the sun refuses to shine on me.. and they are just simply my everyday smile.

Drama of the Weighing Scale..

so here goes..



the moment when the weighing scale touched 60...My thought went...




"I AM FAT!!!.." I couldnt accept it. It was too harsh the reality for me to accept that I'm 60kG.. so much so the drama.. I rolled on the floor..



I felt.. so FAT.. I couldnt take it. I break my OWN RECORD.. I felt my leg were 3 shawarmas together.. my hands were like sandwich batatah.

So much of the sadness that.. i decided to do something to myself.


I tried to recall all the things that I've done to myself.. and thus thE MAIN point Struck me..

"you have left all the things that u used to do back then.. zahidah!"

which was true.. I'm becoming lesser and lesser myself.

Thus.. I picked myself up and decided to pray.. Isya' (coz it was getting late)


after the prayer and deep suplication...

Atiqah and Ewin were discussing about gaining weight in my room..

"ARgh! How depressing!!"

YEah yeah.. I've gained 8 kg!! so wat??

then Ewin moved the weighing scale from the thick carpet to the cold hard floor..

"I dont think u're 60 Kg zaida.." Ewin said. ( at that point of time.. I thought she was trying to make me feel better)

"Come see!.. Try weighing again.." she said.. and i reluctantly obeyed..

"Ewin.. weighing scale dont lie.. This is MY third time eh.. It'll still fall to 60!!"

ANd like Miracle...

the scale touched 55 and then moved abit.. to 56.

arrhhh!!! my whole world is back in place!!! I'm still within my own limit..

Phewww....~

after all the drama in front of the girls............... I'm still normal. hahahah..

BUT!!..

getting myself controled is my quest NOW..

I have to watch EVERY SINGLE THING that I eat, say, do.. blablabla.. so on and so forth..

every single BIT of it..

lest the scale wont touch 60..

and before anything bad happed to myself..

I'd rather watch myself NOW.

My iman-o-metre and self- supervision camera are now operating every single minute and second.

BUt in CASE These machines in my System are down..

Please Do Tell me If ThEre'S anyThing Wrong That I'm DOINg.. tell me.. Inform me!!


but the mystery of my weight becoming different from the carpet to the hard floor.. is yet to be solved..

and who knows... maybe Allah wanted to give me a test of the moment.

There are Blessing in everything...




Fi AmaniLLah.

Rahmah MinAllah...

SAlam!!!

hahah.. It's me AGain.. Yeah.. Now I'm In REaL GooD Mood.. so is this Anisa Next to me! hahha..


arhh.. now I'm talking to my family.. and the Mic over there is kinda faulty which irritates the hell out of me actually..

hahahha..

I am free from my DUtieS today!.. away from the kitchen and SPrinG CLeaNing!! kheheh.. maybe bacause of that.. it adds a little cheer to my mood. hahah..

ok now..............................

#scratch head#

I thought I had so many to tell............


but ..

what was it eh?





TAK INGAT LARH..


bye arh..

I'll be STRONG..

Salam to all..

Just when I thought my mind could rest..

Like My sister mentioned.. Febuary oh Febuary.. It's not the end of the month yet.. what a month Febuary has given me. I thought this month would be much relaxed.. Indeed.. I am so wrong. Physically.. yeah It's relaxing.. but not mentally.. my mind is always thinking.. and thinking.. arh!!!.. What's the cure eh...

murder myself? (=.=)

Why do I care about too many things eh..

ok stop it.. let's talk about the positive HaPPy thingS (that I know of..)

My sister is enrolling into Singapore Poly.. taking some.. chem tech course.. arh.. Good FOr her.. Hamdanlillah.. I know she can make it since that's her first choice.. Hamdanlillah.

What other good news that I know.. Hmmmm......

#sound of cricket in the mind#

#the sound's getting louder..#

I'm still alive and breathing?.. Hamdanlillah..

That's a good news..right?



I wanna go back.. home..


nonono..!!

STAY ZAHIDAH..

BE strong..

"Stay positive even When u're in the eye of the Storm........."


yeah.. Stay..


bye. FI AMANILLAH..

(it's a rubbish entry.. but I've expressed it all.. that's what matters)

EVERYTHING IS IN CONTROL

Salam to all.. ^^

There was one time when.. I was so so so sleepy that I almost drop my head on the desk.. suddenly a thunder of thought striked my mind..

"CONTROL YOURSELF ZAIDA!"

and thus like magic I was awakened.. but the thought dragged on into something like..

"I'm in full control of myself! I'm in full control of my feelings.. and problems and time and everything that is still within my control.."

So whatever that was typed in my last entry.. let's forget it!!

Look at the brighter side of things.. zaida.

why frown.. when I have friends and Fathanah with me?

Why mourn.. when...... erm.. when......... i just have to smile to load off the burden?

I can scream at home.. if ever I cant take it anymore..right?




And there was another time when... (ok, this is the 'problems' part.. skip it.. i just need to vomit them all out of my system)

I go to the toilet or kitchen.. but i dont know why.. or just forget why I need to go there.

There'll be another time when I'll take off my shirts or pants.. without reasons.. or just because I see my roomates doing so..

There'll be another time.. I'd be talking and talking and talking.. and at one part.. I'd pause..coz I dont know what I was talking.. or I'd wonder if it was it to the right person?

Small things they may seem.. but it's irritating the hell out of me. I dont know where my mind is sometimes.

And IF THIS CONTINUES ZAIDA.. SOONER OR LATER.. YOU'LL REVEAL YOUR DARK SECRETS TO THE WORLD WIHTOUT REALIZING IT!.

#inhale#


but.. I'm still in control of myself. hamdanlillah


maybe I should make this blog private.. since.. well................. arh.. whatever.

now... I have release them all from the prison of my own system... Insya'Allah khair.. I'll be more careful with my words.. lest I wont show or do anything stupid that will only cause a whole day of embarrassment.

so if my family is reading this..

dont worry.. your daughter/sister here is still okay.

#ahem ahem#

maybe that's all... I guess?

arh before I end..

The people over here really teach me how to live.. properly and they really help in incereasing the level of patience a great deal! TRUST ME.. i was never this patient with anyone or myself when I was in my homeland.. or even at home.
Subhanallah..


If the ***** \traffic jam has taught fathanah life..

well.. mine.. arh.. too much to be listed anyway.. but I know now.. being an Asian.. and Singaporean is better. Hamdanlillah.. I'm a born Singaporean.. for so many reasons... Hamdanlillah.. Indeed whatever Allah has given and decreed.. is still the best. Alhamdulillah..

havent I promised myself not to regret with anything orwhatever I have decided..?

yeah.. I'm still happy and content with my stay.. ALhamdulillah.. I still keep my promise to myself..

With so many friends I have made.. and so many things I have gone through..

this is the stage of my life that I'll never forget..

maybe .. hahah.. #imagining now in my head#..

Someday when i'm old.. I'd be telling all this to my grandchildren..

XD

hahahhahahahahah buat klaka kape zaida?? entah besok hidop ke tk.. nak pikir jadi nenek lagi.. hahahhahahahah!

I'm mad..


bye!

how am I.. and how are you doing?

salam................


no intention to submit any entry.. but anyway..

I just have so many things on my head.. that................... I dont know where to start, I dont know how to solve it. Those things arent mere things.. they are PROBLEMS AND QUESTIONS!.. =.=

my neck is breaking for the load in my head.. I want to say it.. but................. where do i start? to who? how? and which one should I talk abt?


should I list them here?


arh.. no..

arh anyway... how do i vomit them all out???

there'll be times when I have to raise my eyebrows in order for my eyes to stay open.. otherwise they'd fall closed.. =.=


yeah.. honestly.. I'm in a hard situation with myself.

Aba Ummi.. I miss u loads.

If I have to talk to them.. canI not cry? =.=

or





can I cry?

Looking back..

My warmest Salam to all..

hahah.. I'm reminicing all that i've ever written in my teen life.. hahah.. and guess what.. haha. I've found so many things.. that I couldn't think of.. right now.

yeah.. how stupid I can be.

one of them.. sounds..

Yes, life is tough.
But hasn't god given you the strength enough?.
We cry, we try, we smile.. we laugh.
That's the joy of being alive.
So much that you can see in life.
Hopes. Happiness. Truth. Betrayal and Love.
Do welcome life.. and live it up..
Along with that gifted mind and heart.

HIDOP!! hahah.. yeah.. now my strength have returned and my thoughts are straight. hahahah.. I need my own words to fuel my own dead soul. hahah.. weird!...

here's more.. if EVER anyone (or myself) want to read...

http://www.fictionpress.com/u/407664/.



haha.. and now as I'm reading everything that I've written.. I'm beginning to wonder.. hahahahah..

WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING?

was I madly in love? how did i produced those words with such a feeling..?

In someway.. i can feel every word of it.. as if I wrote them last night. hahahaha..

mapek arh zaida.. ntah ape2 je.

I'm blushing as i read them.. one ofter another..

hahah.. Ok that was me back then. all sweet with words to keep me on the move.. but NOW.. only harsh and forceful words to keep me standing. hahahah..

dah arh.. mapek arh zaida.. =.=
BYE!

Love is a Verb

Love is a Verb,
rather than some kind of a feeling that only comes and goes,
Love is a Verb,
That needs actions..
in order for one to understand it..
in order for the one to feel it.
Love is a Verb,
So.. show it in your work.
Show it in your Words.
Love is a Verb..
and It takes more than just Skills.




Wh suddenly this? It's because I want to remind myself that i have to go through every day with love!! Yeah.. I have to love what I do.. and LOVE everyone Around ME!

=.= yeah I'll try.. with this sour face of mine.. and my eyes that are becoming lesser and lesser like eyes.. I'll try.

That's it. Bye!!

wait.. wait.. last few words..

"Dont just do it.. LOVE it.."

yeah right .. whatever zaida.. Bye..!

FiAmanillah.

Assalamualaikum..

Arh.. actually I have no plan to update my entry.. instead.. I wanted to call home.. but... it seems like no one's at home. ArGH!! I'm very mad actually.. mane dorang ni? =.= but i have to calm down.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i missed call everyone.. and seems there's no reply. mcm nak nanges sey. I battled myself with the pillows and lihaf.. but no one's at home!! nak tdo balek!!

#hold on. let me call again once more.#

AAARRGHH!! mane sey!!!!?????

my thoughts are running wild now.. =.= really wild..

ok that's it..

bye. not in the mood already..

or maybe will be out of mood the whole day..



bye.