rabbi-sh-rahli shadri wa yassir li amri.. wahlul 'uqdatammin lisa ni yafqahul qau li.

amin~

Alright, Assalamualaikum. Now I shall begin..

When was the last time i cracked my head to translate English to Arabic??.. To be EXACT.. it was 3 Years ago!.. and now.. after so long.. I have to recall and re-experience the pain of it. Hmm.. BUt.. Alhamdulillah.. it's completed. and YA ALLAH.. I so hope it'll be accepted. I know it's not a perfect translation.. but please accept it.

I have to translate my Birth Cert and A level result slip. Heavy task it was.. really. No one knows, what is heavier is that.. knowing no one could help me check the translation. It'll be impossible for me to just pop in at my former school and ask the Ustazah to help. They'll for sure consider this as a ridiculous attitude.. and for me to make appointment with them.. would at least take a few days. I'm at the end of my wit.. that I could only tried my best and TAWAKKAL 'AlAllah.

In any case, I am mentally prepared if it's rejected. My heart feels heavy now.. worry does weigh alot.. doesnt it?

What else..is there worth sharing..??

Well.. there is something actually. I was flipping through my file just now.. and found this great Quaotation.

It said that, the sweetest thing anyone could swallow is his anger. This is of course rephrased by me. The exact quotation is in my bag.. (which I'm too lazy to get it).
From this, I have actually often remind myself not to vent my anger on anything or anyone. At times when I'm angry.. and Lord knows.. how badly I try to control it.

So, sisters and brothers out there, Venting anger is definately not the way to relief yourself. Control it and stay calm. It will affect alot of aspect if this is successful. Haha.. I'm speaking from experience here.. so.. yeah.. Try at least to not be a person full of hatred and anger or even revenge, you'll experience calmness at it's very best. InsYa' Allah.

*runs to get the real quotation*

Said Umar: "For a servant of God, there is nothing sweeter than the swallowing of his own anger. Niether milk nor Honey can be compared to it." (Ahmad, Musnad)

Yeah, so that's it.

Ila huna.. Fi Amanillah.

what is this feeling..?

hmm..

If i ask, 'What is worry'. I think i could get a hundred of answers.


If i ask, "What is mistake..?" to myself, i know i can get hundreds of reply as well.. and That's the problem.


I know something is not right with my actions and decisions.. but i dont know exactly where. And i feel i have to be blamed for something..


Is it when I'm teaching..? or when I'm at home..? or when I'm walking or eating..??? where does the mistake lies.. that have turned my feelings like this.


It's neither Happy.. nor Sad. It's in between..It's a a luke happiness under a cloudy sky.



That's not all. There's another thing.. that's troubling my feelingometer. (I hope you can understand that term "feelingometer", it works to measure the health of your feeling)


There's this one student of mine. He's normal, smart, young .. and quiet. That's all.
But something .. from the view of my eyes.. is different and mysterious in him.
I WISH I KNOW WHAT IT IS!.


This is nothing of a phidophile case alright!


I know there is something important about him that i must find out! Must must find out!


and I just dont know how and what is it that i have to find out.



do you ever get this kind of a case? when you suddenly feel you have done something wrong..? as if you are to be blamed for something..?


or the kind of a thing like by looking at a human being.. and there's something mysterious in that person? but you know only that.. not what exactly it (the mystery) is.

Let me recover soon.

Insya' Allah!

Fi Amanillah~

"Kalau singkat, si cantik manis.. disambungkan, kalau panjang.. minta dikerat"

Mesti ade cara kalau ingin kan sesuatu. Semesti nya ada jalan kalau kemahuan dah membara. Bagai pepatah melayu, "Dimana ada jalan, di situ ada jalan".
Jangan dipandang remeh kekata dulu-dulu, kerana ada nilai dan kiasannya.

what is working hard...? who knows..

Assalamualaikum.. hmm.. Masa' Ul Khair. it's been quite a long time since i last sent an entry. i was down with flu.. like four days ago. but now.. i'm just suffering from its 'aftermath'. haha.. that would have to be.. the phlem. uargh!... the phlem is just too much.. i think if i have to collect it.. it'd be a pail full.


nothing much happened though. only on the saturday, when i had an overtime. haha.. i had JUST recovered from my bad flu.. and i had to take the tuition class. By the way.. this isnt a complain, just reminising it back. What happened was, the tuition class on saturday usually would have 2 or 3 students only.. but last saturday.. PHew.. there were 6 of them( 4 new students)! plus.. to make it more 'challenging' for me.. some of them were using different kinds of book. so.. when i checked.. there were 4 different books.. and i had to teach for different lessons.. to 6 children. I felt my body was about to be ripped apart, because i had to run back and forth to check on the students as they were doing things differently.

anyway.. i managed to settle them all.. and Alhamdulillah the lessons went well, despite my phlem blowing and coughing every now and then. hahha! next week.. i really hope their teacher will teach them back.. coz otherwise i'll have to cover for her. but.. anyway.. starting next week they'll be using the same book, except for two of them. ..so it'll be easier for their teacher! hahah.. insya' Allah!

arh well.. that's my job anyway. even if the students have to use 100 different kinds of books.. as a teacher.. you should just teach.. or think creatively. Insya' Allah.. the burden wont be too hard!

now.. i'm wondering, as i am an unprofessional and unexperienced teacher.. how do i make a student sit up straight? =.=

salam everyone. Naharus Sa'id.. kaifa haluk? ana alhamdulillah bik khair.

It's April finally, syukur. hahah.. because the last month; March, felt so long. it was a long month ne? arh.. maybe not for some.. but for me it was sure a long one. i kept wondering when will end of the month comes. haha.. not that i wanted my pay so badly, but i wanted the new month to start. hmm.. for Kai, her birthday was in march.. but couldnt get anything for her YET!. hmm.. mata ya Khairiyah sa uqabbiluki..? maybe INSYA ALLAH before i go to Syria, yarh? haha.. INSYA ALLAH!

i want to prepeare something for my study in Syria.. but i dont know where to start. hmm.. maybe by this month i'll try to get the endorsements ready and get the recommendation letter. kinda nervous now.. haha.. if i cant get myself there.. how dissapointed i'll be. this is like another stage of my life.. i feel as if i'm taking another step in my life. let this be a humbling lift in my life. dakara.. i need everyone's blessing for this.

hmm.. anyway.. whether i'm here or another part of this earth, i'll try to post entries as much as i can. i dont want to lose contact with myself and the ones around me. ^^

That's it for now.. Ila Liqa'!