di bawah pohon asmara.

I thought it was all in the past..

something that I should already forget.
Yea.. I thought.

I didnt realize that..
the memories that I thought I have kept away..
are actually still sitting at the back of my mind.
That all these while..
they are there..
But it was me who cloud them away from my view.

weird.

yea I guess.. It was my b-l-o-o-d-y ego.

we play snow when it was winter

we eat pizza together when it was summer

we watch movies together while eating dinner

we try to make life better.. together.

we danced we sang we laughed

as if that day was to stay forever.

I was just with my own blue sky..

but you girls made a rainbow.

now I am back with my own sky

trying to paint the rainbow you have made.

I have failed.

Those days.. wont happen again.

nevermind. It alright.

I have to move on.. and I shall carry this heavy missing feeling along.. for as long as it wants to stay.

meow..~

It's better with love.

words are painful,

to say or not to say..

both ends with the same result.

so It's better to say it with love

or not to say it because of love.

people can be hurtful,

to have friends or not,

both cause the same pain.

so it's better to make friends because of love

or to stay away from friendship

and find true love.

love,

when it comes you cant refuse

when it is not told to come yet

you can never look for it

ever.

love is

what is has always been.

a feeling. a gesture. a verb. a mystery.

though painful,

but because of love, it become bearable.

though in times of worry

but because of love.. it somewhat create calmness.

love.

too many times repeated.

too many people say it.

still.. it carry a special meaning to every hearts that's containing it.

love is a gift

the colour that brighten the life.

it's not red or green or blue or pink

nor it's your favorite colour,

it's love.

It's just plain LOVE.

meow!~ =)

New Air.

Story ONE- Iced lemon tea.

she looked at the tin of ice lemon tea. she touched it with such curiousity on her face.

I smiled and said "it's empty sayang.."

she still frowned.

"but what is that drink?"

"It's Lemon Tea"

"Oh.." she smiled.

"maybe when i grow up i can have such drink right?"

"Freedom to choose your drinks.." ran through my mind.

"yea.. maybe I think you can" I replied.

"Yea.. when i grow up like you, i think i can.." she continued.

I could just smile. How innocent can a child be. How observant can they be at the same time.

however, what she doesnt know yet.. that having the freedom to choose a can of drink could bring you a carton of problems to be solved and settled.

That's how life is.

May Allah protect her from any harm as a child and as an adult, Insya'Allah. Amin.



meow!~ :)

gangster damai.

there are times when we really want to vent our anger, but we swallow it down.. though it is so bitter.. we know.. that's the honey to our Eeman.

There are times as well, we thought we are doing so many things.. almost everything.. why cant some people use their brain and show some concern and offer help.
but we know that being a muslim, we do everything in the cause of Allah, so we erase that thought of and continue the work.. waiting for rewards to come.


There are as well times when we feel.. what are these people thinking and feeling..? why isnt things going the way we thought it would..?



because these are the times Allah wants to test us. Test our eeman, or sincerity and the strength of our believe in Him.

Humans do forget. and that's a fact.. we think we remember.. but when comes the real test.. we could just forget.



in whatever path we are.. test like this may come often and unexpected.



over and over again.. we say we know we know we DO know.. But Allah is the Most Wise.

so we dont really know actually.. what is the strength of our eeman, the height of our sincerity and the depth of our belief in Allah.

we can only try and try to make sure that it is maintained at all possible times.



Allah Yahdiinaa. =)

The self is the first.

I believe..

for something that we want people to enjoy.. we have to enjoy doing it first.

I believe..

for something that we want people to do.. we have to do it first.

I believe.

to have people listen to us.. we have to learn how to listen to the others first.


so there.. I know..

for everything.. it starts with the person himself first.

no matter what could the work or deed be.

we just have to put ourselves in the 'first' position.




It is impossible to be doing something that we dont understand.

and that is what I believe.




meow~! :)

under this same sky..

I dont meet up with that many people in my everyday life.. but to all these same people I see everyday; with the same smiles and the same frowns and the same sighs, I seem to learn alot from them.. sharing alot with them.. and just observing life from their happiness and pain.

'Only when one taste the bitterness of illness that he will appreciate the sweetness of Health'

'Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body'

'unexpected things happen more those that we expected'.


There are many things that we may see to be simple.. but it's a totally complicated thing. I see this in their eyes from the ordeals of their life.

'in pain we gain..lesson and gift.'



I believe that their endurance will bring a positive outcome. May they receive the best blessings and Reward from Allah for whatever that they are made to go through.




and from this lonely side of mine.. i only watch and smile. I am not wise.. neither could i understand everything..

but I can feel as i watch. and that brings the smile.

I only see Happiness in Everything.. but I cant translate that view into words.

Nothing New..

life.


the same word, over and over repeated. Over and over explained.


life.


different colours. different stages. different challenges.


life.

smell it. see it. touch it. hear it. Feel it.


life.

ask anyone.. what's about it.

differences will what you get.


life.

for me..

is..

no other than

Love.



life.

this is it.




With love,
Zahidah. :D

love changes everything..

what have been going on with me..?


*too many dreams, without much work. but the same exhaustion.

*i dont want to blame the increasing burning heat.. i love nature.

*so many things i dont know about.. what a shame.

* i dont plan anymore.. i just make sure i get myself prepared all the time for the worst ONLY. so my what can u find in my aid box?

-emotional plaster. helps me to numb from all kind of pain and cover it. helps me to strech a good length of smile as well.

-cadbury's chocolate 'BOOST', three leg brand cooling water, chezels, epok2 sardin..; these will be for my physical support. help me to move and move and move forward when the sun really suck my energy out.

and of course.. the most important of all.. i have these at good and bad times.. all the time..

-DOA DOA DOA DOA!!


though now there seems to be some cases that i begin to curse.. but not aloud... i really hate that. really really hate that... but urgh!! im such a weakling.. some things just cant be controled.. no matter how badly i want to.


financial supplement.- this is an essential that everyone needs to have. and i really really hope this supplement will help me through till i am legally his wife.. AMEEEEEN YA RAB.. or maybe till we are even married.. AMEEEN


*things may seem relaxing to some people who look and observe my every day life.. but only .. ONLY ALLAH knows what's going through my head.. and how much work that is. I dont lie about this.. but people may have that 1% of possibilities thinking that im lying.


but know what..?

I dont care. they can think and judge..


Im told to move foward.. and that's not a new advice for me.



i asked myself some nights ago...

"what happened to Syria?"


and i heard some where inside of me said..

"that was.. those are the pasts..i have put those nice memories and beautiful times into an album, that i wont look anymore.. only at depressed times"

i have my aim and i know whre to move from here.. i just need the correct path. Insya'allah.. everything will go smoothly. Allah Yahdiinii.


amin.