what is this feeling..?

hmm..

If i ask, 'What is worry'. I think i could get a hundred of answers.


If i ask, "What is mistake..?" to myself, i know i can get hundreds of reply as well.. and That's the problem.


I know something is not right with my actions and decisions.. but i dont know exactly where. And i feel i have to be blamed for something..


Is it when I'm teaching..? or when I'm at home..? or when I'm walking or eating..??? where does the mistake lies.. that have turned my feelings like this.


It's neither Happy.. nor Sad. It's in between..It's a a luke happiness under a cloudy sky.



That's not all. There's another thing.. that's troubling my feelingometer. (I hope you can understand that term "feelingometer", it works to measure the health of your feeling)


There's this one student of mine. He's normal, smart, young .. and quiet. That's all.
But something .. from the view of my eyes.. is different and mysterious in him.
I WISH I KNOW WHAT IT IS!.


This is nothing of a phidophile case alright!


I know there is something important about him that i must find out! Must must find out!


and I just dont know how and what is it that i have to find out.



do you ever get this kind of a case? when you suddenly feel you have done something wrong..? as if you are to be blamed for something..?


or the kind of a thing like by looking at a human being.. and there's something mysterious in that person? but you know only that.. not what exactly it (the mystery) is.

Let me recover soon.

Insya' Allah!

Fi Amanillah~